My roommate and I went out to get some Pho soup in La Jolla today. Generally when you get a bowl of Pho, you also get a plate of side-vegetables to add to the soup. But when we got our two bowls of soup today, he brought only one side-plate of veggies.
Immediately, I started bitching. I felt that I should have my own veggies. My roommate, unfazed, calmly called over the waiter and got the second plate of vegetables. By the time the meal was done, we had gone through only 80% of the first plate of side-vegetables. The second plate remained untouched.
I noticed then that while I went immediately to fight a perceived injustice, my roommate just let it go. We then had a long discussion about the matter.
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Why do we fight for things that we don’t need? I certainly had no expectation of being able to finish more than a half-plate of those vegetables. I simply felt that there ought to be two plates because I paid for my own bowl of Pho, and each bowl is supposed to come with its own plate.
I realized then that I fight for all sorts of shit that I don’t care about. I spend maybe 80% of my fights/stress getting things that I’m technically entitled to, but don’t actually need.
I fear the idea of being exploited disproportionate to any actual exploitation I endure. On the contrary, I probably net exploit the world. I’m not going to speculate on the psychological reasons.
My roommate has a different attitude. He feels that it’s simply not worthwhile to fight for principle alone. If he doesn’t need those vegetables, he won’t raise a fuss. His attitude creates less stress. It’s probably wiser, but I’m not quite sure yet.
And though I understand this concept in principle, it will probably be many years before I’m able to internalize any lesson and change my behavior.